This week has been an amazing way to prepare me for the trip. Altogether there were around 40 students who were leaving for the whole summer or up to a year, going on missions trip all over the world. We had small sessions with amazing speakers, such as Ron Walborn (Alliance Theological Seminary) and Jason Ostrander. Ron spoke on the Holy Spirit, and his role in our lives. Jason spoke on Disorientation, and finding our orientation in Jesus alone. I cant say enough Good about the speakers and their messages.

I had two thoughts really hit me:

a. God could have done, and still can do the work that will be done this summer, yet is using us. He doesn't NEED us to work, yet what an honor to be specifically chosen for a task, directly from God.

b. God has been working where we are going even before we started planning or even working towards going on this trip. We are simply the tools that he will use for His purpose.

EVERYTHING WAS GOING GREAT UNTIL THIS MORNING!
I woke up in a bad mood. I for some reason recently had formed the view of God in my mind that since He is such a Holy, pure and amazing Being, that I have no right even bothering Him with my small things. Sadly...I don't even know know how to approach God anymore. Then because of this, I woke up with the thought: 'does God even like me?' I know he loves me no doubt. That's undeniable. Yet, besides making sure that I bring Him glory and praise, does He really care about ME??

I went to the last session calmed down, yet the question still was bothering me.
Right at the beginning of the session, our worship leader just started speaking directly from his heart. He gave the simple example that He loves and actually LIKES two things: his wife and sushi. Since he LIKES these things, he can talk about them for hours and share with anybody he wants to about it. Then he asked the question 'do you actually LIKE Jesus?' I was hit by a wall. I realized that this is the reason it is so hard to share about Jesus and telling about Him. This is why Im scared to get into conversations about Him: Is it that I dont LIKE him? That hurts so bad to say. I'm so ashamed. I love Jesus, yet there is a difference between loving someone and actually liking them.

Tonight I was drained. I needed to talk to God so bad. I left the motel room so that my roommate could have privacy and walked down to the hotel lobby and found a chair around the corner from the motel's bar. I started reading John. Still the thought 'does God like me?' was in my head. I just said a quick prayer asking God to show me what He is passionate for. I was about to leave. I felt led to read the next chapter in John, which is chapter 15. I got to verse nine which is Jesus speaking to the disciples, saying "Just as the Father Has Loved Me, I have also loved you..." I nearly jumped up out of my chair.

IT'S THAT SIMPLE?? (I sat there laughing, drunk people were around the corner yelling about something while I was in shock.) Its that simple? I have read that verse so many times, yet it never meant the same as it did now. When reading this, I immediately thought of the different Gospel accounts (Jesus' baptism and the transfiguration) where God is talking directly about Jesus. Theres no denying that God sounds like the proudest father in the world, gloating when speaking about Jesus. He sounds crazy about Him.
Then the second part of that verse says that Jesus loves us the same way that the father loves Him. This means that Jesus is crazy in love with us. The kind fatherly love that God the Father had for Him, Jesus has for us. This must mean Jesus likes us.... Jesus likes me. I dont know why such a simple concept was so hard for me to believe. It must be the same way that my dad thinks of me.

When I finally understood it, I was dumbfounded. I have read Crazy Love by Francis Chan, and have been told all of my life that Jesus is crazy about us, yet it never made so much sense until now. I remember sitting in my Romans class this semester being told that from one of my favorite profs, yet I still didn't take it as fact.

Point number one that God had shown me on this trip: He likes me.

Sorry for being long winded hahaha =)

Oh yeah I forgot to add that Our flight leaves tomorrow (Saturday) at 9:25 EST. Please pray that there are no problems with the volcano. Some of the teams going to other countries were delayed a day because of it.

"But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord God my refuge, That I may tell of all Your works."
Psalm 73:28